Jiamin finali returned.. Alys asked me what time she will be reaching.. I duno also.. I told Alys that I din asked her cuz few days before she left we bickered.. Haix.. Alys den added that Jiamin and me reali like small couple loh.. I get what she mean.. I reali can't imagine if we are reali together.. Will all these things still happened.. I believe it might get even worse.. Imagine frenz alreadi like this liao.. Haix..

Juz last Fri.. Was with Amanda and Sebas.. Amanda said her mum lurves Jiajue alot.. Cuz Jiajue is the only one that can click with her mum completely.. This again implies something that I'm totally lack of.. Jiajue is eloquent and has plans in his mind for his future as well as Jiamin.. He alreadi laid out all the paths.. This is something I guess I can nvr ever achieved.. Even though I did know what I want to do.. What I want to be in the future.. But I'm not that confident I can do it.. U know sometimes I juz want a job and that's all I ask.. Maybe a job that is decent enuff to feed me and my other half.. And I know Jiamin is looking for more than that.. Sometimes I'm juz that jealous over Jiajue.. Jealous of why he is so qiang.. Haix.. I juz hope that he will reali reali treat Jiamin better and better.. Though I know he is reali treating her much much better le..

Like I mentioned earlier.. Jiamin is back alreadi.. Sometimes I juz hope she will sms me.. I mean without me starting to sms her.. Things reali aren't the same anymore.. She has changed.. She reali meant what she said.. And I think I'm not going to try to improve further on our frenzship.. It's not going to change for the better also.. I dun wan to accomodate myself again and again.. I will juz live on as what it is now.. I'm reali veri tired le.. Let's Heaven laid the path for me..

Juz today I asked her whether can ask her for movie.. She asked with who.. I was like sianz totally.. I mean reali must have Alys.. Amanda or Sebas around all the time meh? Can't we juz make it our own? Haix.. Nvm.. It doesn't matter anymore.. I will juz stop all my nonsense.. I'm no longer able to hold on to myself anymore.. I need a break.. Can someone juz save me pls!!

I know I can't touch ur heart now..
So it doesn't matter which kind of luv if I can stay with ya..
Cuz I knw the separated ones go beyond time & space & get together..
Becuz of ya, I will keep waiting becuz of ya..
This is the tot that fills my heart now..
I will always like & luv ya..

*I feel so xing fu with her*

*MerQu|s3*^^ aka *yeKai*^^